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Father of the bride - your role at the wedding

Your little girl is tying the knot, and we're here to lend a helping hand  

That time has come - your daughter is getting married and you're the proud father of the bride. What do you need to do to make sure that life from now until the big day is as smooth as possible?

Traditionally, the only requirement of the father of the bride was to have deep pockets and be excellent at writing cheques. Nowadays, the modern man needs to have the diplomatic skills of a UN ambassador, the lightening reactions of a Wimbledon tennis player and the philosophic capabilities of Socrates. And, of course, you'll be making that all-important speech. When it comes to the cash though, you might not need to part with all your pennies as many couples these days contribute financially to their own wedding.

As father of the bride, you've a big role to play

So what does dad do?

You may not be very visible in the run-up to the wedding, but as father of the bride, you're likely to play a central part in making it possible. 

Traditional roles are changing, but as father of the bride you may well be:

• paying for a considerable proportion of the wedding, and acting as host on the day 
• making a speech 
• giving your daughter away 

This doesn't mean you have to get involved in organising every detail of the wedding -- how much you do is really up to you, and the bride and groom of course. Some fathers choose to participate in all aspects of the wedding preparations, others prefer to stand back and allow the groom, bride and her mother make the arrangements. Either way is fine.

Being a fab FOB

You're a dad, not just a wallet, and apart from the formal aspects of your role you'll probably find yourself giving lots of support to help make sure your daughter has the day of her dreams. Here are a few suggestions for things you can do to help make everything run smoothly.

Offering a helping hand

If you have a particular skill, don't be shy in coming for ward. Do you know lots about wine? Offer to taste the wine at her venue. Know a little about photography? Perhaps you could help review the work of potential snappers. ...
Can you help by offering your garden as a convenient location for a marquee? Maybe you could lend your cherished sports car to the best man to make sure the groom arrives at the ceremony in style? Or perhaps you're happy to help address those 120 envelopes for the invitations.

Looking after the bride

 
Many brides take on too much of the wedding planning. Why not make sure your daughter knows she can delegate a few tasks to you?  ?
If you're one of those Dads that spent a whole decade as an unpaid chauffeur, ferrying your daughter between ballet lessons, drama practice and sleepovers, then you know what's coming next. Can you offer to pick up chair covers, drop off cake samples or even drive her to her dress fitting?

Nothing is sure to upset a bride more than if her parents are seemingly uninterested in her wedding planning. Offer to go and see the venue after she's chosen it, keep up to date with the ins and outs of ordering the dress. These little gestures are worth their weight in gold.

Sometimes your daughter might need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to vent her frustration at not being able to find a convertible Robin Reliant in that exact shade of peach to get her to the church. Or perhaps she's simply had too much advice from well meaning mothers, bridesmaids, sisters and friends. Let her know she can rely her Dad for a sympathetic ear!